6.30.2007

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is sad, i'm here alone, in my house at 9:15 pm and i don' know what to do. i feel like barfing because i've had 4 pieces of cake today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i feel awful, i'm supposed to be on a diet, but i, of course, being a worthless ass, has eaten 4 peices of fucking cake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



i'm going to kick myself in the ass.

Dodgeball Dynasty

"Dodgeball was created by opium using Chinese men. learned that from the wise film" "dodgeball: an underdog story".

6.28.2007

Kutos To You, Mitosis

Perhaps we are living the after life. perhaps we have gone through after life after after life. Like an onion being peeled. layer by layer of reincarnation. we could be on our 5th. i could have robert e. lee or michael jackson's grandmother for all i know. i'm so glad that cells are asexual, or no one would be here right now. kutos to you, mitosis!

6.27.2007

Weather or Not



Whether or not you're prepared for this week, it's coming.

http://www.weather.com/

why


Why are our sharpest memories full of fear?

6.26.2007

More Muses

I wish one could choose what one rememebers.

My favorite feeling is doing nothing when school is blowing in your face.

Strangle me before i ever give into this christ nonsence

A cold Shower v.s A new School

At first you feel a chill and you're ready to get out. But, you decide it'll be far colder to get out than to stay in, so reach for the shampoo. once you've shampoo'd your hair and gotten to shaving you realize the water isn't so cold anymore.

Muse

We don't need eyes to hear bad music

Swing Your feet from Your..

highchair,
bus seat,
student chair,
own chair,
office desk,
Swing your feet from your roof.






thump thump thump

"Dangers"

I'd give up almost anything for my roof. isolation at times is the best medicine. i just sit up there and watch the clouds glide by or let the rain fall on my face while i lay there asleep. i took off my screen on my window to get to the roof. i brought rainjackets on there too because of the pollen. but once my mom found out i was "putting myself in danger" she made my dad put my screen back on. i know i can just take it down again, but the fact that she thinks i'm in danger is a bit of a debbie downer. i can take care of myself, i'm not like a toddler, i can control where i fall or if i fall. my roof is a safe place, its just barely above the ground well, barely being about a floor and a half up, but who's counting?

Coin

I remember sitting there, in my black, last spring break. i remember thinking about my great uncle and life and this great analogy that i thought i could use in some sort of award winning poem. i thought it was gold. but, then i thought to myself this is selfish, i'm thinking about my future when my great uncle has no future. so, i said it three consecutive times in my head, and then moved on thinking about how many times my pete chewed and how blunt and funny he was for a preist (to what i thought priests were at the time like, the nuns in "the sound of music"). that dinner i tried to remember what my "golden analogy" was, but i forgot it. and it wouldn't be as bad as if i could get it right on a multiple choice test. as if i could have come across it by now, but i have no idea. i guess i lost more than one thing that day. but i hate myself for not really saying my good bye just putting the coin in my hat.

Weather

Whoever came up with the expression "it's raining cats and dogs"? t's very odd. what about hippos and walruses. or sea otters and dolphins? or snails and slugs- things that really come out when it rains or things that associate with water. cat's and dogs smell bad after their out in the rain. i guess everything does, except the air. that's the best part of rain the smell and the sound each dop makes pattering on our deck and in swarms of themselves accumulated on the ground. that's the real beauty in life.

Wisdom

Wisdom doesn't grow on trees; it grows in the back of our minds, unless you are a zen master.


s
i d
w o m
tr
e = back of mind
e

Hopefully a Dying Issue

This is what's really sad about the whole appearence thing is that it's even an issue. we all have fat somewhere. though i want people to be healthy, i don't think people should just find a comfort zone for themselves not the latest trend.

Wise Words

"fuck people who make you feel like that. they should definantly not be in your life! you gotta focus on the people that make you happy, and anyone that doesn't you have to get out of your sighhhht."
-my fav couz

I completely agree with this, and i feel like an absolute idiot for thinking otherwise when people say things about me. i like to feel confident, but for some reason this year sucked in that department. one can only blame themself for impregnating pressure in ourselves to try to be perfect. no one is pefect, everyone knows that, but its just that people observe what others look like and those who aren't like that want to change themselves to be like that. i feel as though i just stated the obvioius, but even though it was the obvious people still take diet pills and become anorexic and bolimic.

6.24.2007

High Schoolers Around Me

They have nothing to say, but everything to cry about.

The Gift of Sight

Friends kill me. i have one friend named sheila who i hate to the point where i hung up on her twice in one phone conversation. i kept telling her that my phone was broken and it was a miracle that even worked at the beginning of the conversation. she liked my sister more than me and she ignoreed me when she came over, so i never invite her over anymore. we were on a family vacation and she hung out with my sister and my sister's friend the entire time. on that vacation she called me lesbian and made fun of my weight, even though she is chubby, not me. i think she is the main reason why i hate how i look, besides my sister and brother pointing out my double chin.

But back to a more relatable topic, why do we do this to ourselves? we let anyone who says words, no inscription or official document, point out our physical flaws that are in everyone, some more inside ourselves than on the outside, but still there. why do we care so much? is it because of fashion these days? is it becuase of our eyes? our eyes allow us to see the beauties around us, but also, the evils. we as a whole are too delicate and fragile, we need to build up our shields and not let the evils of this world tear us down.