This post contains explicit language and Adult Content. only read if you've matured or if you have a curious mind.

"I cannot put into words how big of a dick you are"
"Fuck you cunt cow"
----- I read this in one of the stalls of my high school- I think in english, instead of reading Crim and Punishment, we should read these. They're far more interesting and have a more fasinating plot line than anything I've ever read in school.

The Mystery of Paul Reubens

Paul Ruebens, or Peewee Herman, has always left me in puzzlement. Whenever I hear the name, I think of a heavy-set African American dude that further reminds me of a teddy bear. Paul Ruebens is the direct opposite of that; I mean he starred in "Peewee's Play house", had a guest star on "Rugrats" as Hermie the elf, and was an Austrian, crippled Prince who has a plastic hand. No roll he possibly plays is even near a large African American who could possibly be in J-Z's Entourage (or mine, while we're on the topic). So what about Paul Reubens could possibly lead me to this inference? Is it the fact that that American Idol winner had a similiar last name as he or could it be that he pulled a Michael Jackson and had a skin tone change? Either way, it remains a mystery, and damnit it must be SOLVED!

Lead Me to this.

Heath Ledger was found dead recently and the cops infer that it was a suicidal action; the evidence being an empty bottle of sleeping pills next to the body. It's sad. Really sad. It's always sad to hear of a suicide especially from someone so young. It's difficult to grasp the concept of literally wanting to kill yourself. I'm sure almost everyone has considered it at one point, but when you actually think about it; long and hard, that is, it just is infallible. The idea that we each are 2 dimensionally breathing and at one point you won't. You turn black; the scarest part of anyone's life. Sure, you think you're going somewhere after death. But that would be after death. How long does death take? And what if there's nothing after? Everything we ever worked for is worth nothing and everyone we cared about no longer sparks emotions or thoughts. For all we know, we were alone in space with no sound or life.

That Chandelier

Often I feel as though I am dragging this along, this being the memories from a childhood I regret and miss at the same time. A childhood that was pretty at the time, but after a few years kind of outdated itself. For example, the memories of holding hands while crossing the street or the memories of playing with Barbies* with my sister and next-door-neighbor. The memory of crying the first week of 1st grade because I was without my mother for oh-so long. Or perhaps the memories of innocence of the world that we were yet to live 'in'. So, as expected, the memories that I love, I want to Cherish forever, but the bad ones have come to haunt me. For example, being afraid of the movie "Who framed Roger Rabbit?" and knowing that it still frightens you seeps into your mind without mercy and somehow corrupts the moments you spend after you just briefly flashed back on that awful movie. It was just a movie, I am fully aware of the fact, but the fact that you and I (probably) cannot possibly bare is that our weaknesses/fears from 10, 20, 30+ years ago still somehow inundate our happiness and haunts us until the day we succumb to the Earth. Thus, no matter how hard we try to pull that chandelier into the car to drive to the dump it will just keep pulling back and we'll be motionless as the stones, rocks and dirt below us.

My best Secret So far.

I wonder if there are people in the world who are so sensitive that when their computer doesn't remember their password; they flip out.

i feel like that could be a post secret. I think of post secrets often, but they never apply to me. Maybe that's my secret.

I feel like sending one, but after I make it, I never want to send it anymore. Do you send it in an envelope, even if the envelope doesn't art on it? Because every envelope I see on the blog page has drawings or stickers or something on it. Where is Frank with his answers when ya need em'?