Right in the Middle

I get the feeling that i might think about death too often and too much. but how can i hold myself back? it's what i am one day going to do. hopefully i'll live long enough to have to wait for it to happen, but it's just a common thing as for me to be thinking about what college i will attend come my 18th year of life and everything after that. i think it would be a much more of a problem if i wanted to commit suicide or expected to live forever and be broken in half by the time i do die. i think both are just as lurid.