I am broken in two. that explains why i have humorous links on my posts and other serious topics on others. some parts of me want to attract people and be who everyone likes, bu on the oher side i want to be artsy and isolated. right now, i'm feeling very artsy. i still haven't "figured out" what my real personality is and all that jazz. but, right now i'd rather be artsy and earn friends through that.
Where do we find our souls? do they appear at the bus station or in our first showers we take alone. or does it appear when we are sent to school and it accumulates from the dripping sweat from our foreheads because we are now alone. i remember the time my kindergarden teacher asked me to "play pretend" with some of the other girls because i was spending too much time at the drawing station. she told me i had to play with the other people in order to go back to drawing. while the other girls stired an empty pot with an old wooden spoon and bossed each other around, i stood there staring at my teacher. she told me to do something as she took notes, i simply stood there. i hated it. for some reason i hated being with the other kids. i wanted to either be with my parents or by myself. my teacher shoo'd me off and i went back to my drawing area.
Now when i walk into high school, i often think of that moment where i was forced to be someone i wasn't and still am not. i'm not good with people, though i wish i am. it takes me a long time to feel comfortable.
You're probably wondering, why do i care, right? but maybe you too are like this.
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sometimes.
sometimes i get really anti-social and i want to dye my hair black.
but other times i'm a hippie.
and i don't understand any of it. i decided it's just part of growning up and finding out who you are. & being comfortable with yourself is one of the hardest things for anyone to do, so don't worry you're not the only one.
ilycousin!
I'm so jealous of how good you are at putting things into words! I alway get exactly what your saying but I could never figure out how to say it myself. That's such a cute (that's not the right word but I'm using it for lack of a better one) story I love how you remember it. I have stories like that too, the ones that seem insignificant yet they seem to stay in our minds and always seem to come back to us. If i could write like you I'd start a blog too =]
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